3rd Anal POWER OF THE POOOOOHSAYY Hash

In an attempt to properly prepare I took a half day off work on Friday for a hash on Saturday. Me and Delia loaded a pickup load of hashing stuff out of the "Barn O Hashing". If I had a bigger truck I could bring more shit. We arrived around 5 PM and set up camp. Blawb and her Just Doug arrived and plugged into the electricity for their camper. Now I get to relax till trail on Saturday. As the sun set the oppressive heat that stayed around even a night relented. Later at night when the club members departed Delia somehow snuck into the bar, she didn't drink though. It's too bad that she can't drive even though she has a license. Meanwhile back at camp things were happening. I sat in my camp chair alone in the dark and enjoyed another beer while I pondered the stars. Then it was time to crash and let the cicadas sing me to sleep on my air mattress that I forgot to close the valve so all the air doesn't leak out.

A comfortable sunny Saturday morning arrived. I had a nutritious breakfast of V8, Ramen noodles, Men's One A Day, a Monster drink, and beer. Some of the hares arrived and worried about why the other hares weren't there. There's beer checks to put out. A small supply of hashers arrived. There were even a couple of virgins. If I remember correctly they were Just Bill, on some name that starts with a B, and Just Nicole. Now being that they were virgins at an H5/Reading hash does that automatically make them Bi-hashual? According to directions previously dispersed from the hares that the pack actually remembered to leave camp and carpool to the bar for trail start about 5 minutes from QRC. Sister Maria carpooled himself to the start in his new Pontiac Vibe that only had 25 miles on it. A small pack of about 20 appeared at Cheers Bar. Let's not forget the dogs. Doodle and Glass Ass's new dog Summer, a fox hound at a riding club. ANGEL's dog Marley went with the hares. Beer Slut, Delia, and Summer stayed with pack.

The hares gave trail marking flour throws to confuse the virgins and regaled them with tales of water moccasins, bees, shiggy a deer can't make it through, broken bones, and lost hashers. The hares take off after giving directions to the pack to go to the bar. There are directions we can follow. Beer at the bar and the pack is off after 12 minutes. 100 yards and into the shiggy by an automobile graveyard. I know this is a good idea but maybe not for the junkyard owner, this would be a cool place for a beer check. No such luck, wonderful shiggy that you can't walk upright through like a human, into woods, and back to the power cut. We scared out a couple of deer but mostly I heard something crunching through the brush or a glimpse of a white tail over an asshole. Down a hill to the land of boulders. It's somewhere near here where I fell on my ass. I can remember thinking, "That's going to hurt tomorrow." The trail goes into a bouldery stream that is designated as a wild trout stream. Some places the stream disappears under the rocks and you can hear the stream babbling under the rocks. Beer check in the stream! The other about 2 miles of trail would follow this pattern. Evil terrain, water, pollen, beer in a stream, and falling hashers. The pack arrives safely back at the bar and carpools back to the QRC.

Back at camp circle is held where Just Doug, Blawb's other half, was named "Donald Frump" because he didn't do anything stupid on trail and his resemblance to Donald Trump and his need for hair care. Glass Ass and Doodle had some awesome chili made for our enjoyment. I think just Troy did some rapping. A great evening on the deck for drinking too much beer. Real plastic beer mugs were distributed to those in the pack who registered. They were decorated and personalized specailly for this occasion by Just Lays There.

I stumbled me and Delia back to my tent and thought I was about to go to sleep. At least KY was smart enough to try and sleep in her vehicle. Apparently she froze her ass off and drove a hundred feet in search of She Came's tent and scared Wild Cherry as all he saw were headlights going for his tent, she stopped just in time. She Came and KY were cackling and giggling like little school girls at a sleep over and somebody's liquor cabinet was raided. Eventually they quieted down, maybe because they were spooning, and I finally dropped off to sleep.

I awoke in pain on Sunday morning and realized that I was right about the fall I took on Saturday and the valve I forgot to close on my air mattress didn't help any either. Now came the most work of the weekend for me, making all the shit fit back inside my truck. Evidence of that was witnessed by Big Rig and I think Doodle as they followed me shortly and saw me have to pick up my pirate flag on the flagpole that blew out of the back of my truck. I had to go back and get it.