"What The Hell? Hash"
Reading #673
Sunday March 11th 2007
Well, as expected,
there was some very shitty trail laid by A.N.G.E.L. and Just Lays There
(virgin hare) today! Trail started in Cornwall. Interesting chalk artwork
was made by the hashers, most notably Glass Ass, on the concrete barriers on
the parking spaces. The hares were off after a lengthy pre-lube and
explanation of hash marks. We followed an urban trail section through
Cornwall, making a couple of road turns, passing the Cornwall Iron Furnace
and finding our way out of the middle of town to a massive talus rock slide
in the woods. The Legion of Dumb (including a newly crowned member...Cums
and Glows...climbed the talus to the top for no reason other than the fact
that it was there, and that they THOUGHT they could figure out a short
cut). The combined IQ of the trio totaled somewhere around 30...so they got
lost, as we all expected. Seems there was previously an A.N.G.E.L. birthday
hash here that was legendary. Other than her birthday, the significance of
the legend was lost on the rest of us. At this fine spot in the woods was a
great shot check. Not sure what the liquor was, but it included something
carbonated that tasted kinda like Fresca. The consensus of everyone was
that the shots were delicious.
Unfortunately, the marks also included a back check
69! We had to count back 69 dots to the five points intersection in
Cornwall. From there, we took a short jog up 419 to Uncle Fester's house
for a great beer check! The group seemed to get pretty well split up...as
most hashers can't count anywhere near the number 69. Most of the group
gave up counting after getting to about 12, especially cuz they couldn't get
the "sixty nine" imagery out of their perverted little heads! After a long
time at Fester's, we followed marks through fields, shiggy and roads to the
Blue Bird Inn just north of town. This was a great beer check. Luckily,
A.N.G.E.L. knew the owner...otherwise, some of our idiocy would have
definitely gotten us kicked out. After leaving the bar and dodging many
snowballs thrown by Death Wish and Q-stick, we meandered through very muddy
fields and rail trails back to the parking lot. At one point, each of my
shoes weighed about 5 pounds from all the mud caked on.
The group re-convened at a circle at Uncle Fester's
house. Much celebration was had. Since it was National Tool Day, Uncle
Fester brought out a massive bunch of wrenches to the circle. Many
down-downs were consumed. Most notably, Cums and Glows was officially
inducted into the Legion of Dumb, and welcomed by fellow imbeciles Death
Wish and Quarter Stick. The hashers cheered loudly, as nothing pleases a
group of half-minds more than knowing that there are hashers even dumber
than themselves! Excellent black bean soup and cupcakes were served,
compliments of A.N.G.E.L. From there, we ventured back to the Blue Bird for
the apres. A lot of great eats and laughs were followed by a naming. Just
Aimee is known for her dislike of beer and her love for Jack Daniels. In
fact, at her first hash in Leesport, she told Big Rig that she drinks
"liquor only". Sooo...today she was named "Lick Her Only". How
appropriate! All of the elements of a great hash name. She loved it.
There was so much more that happened today, but my
brain hurts now and I'm going to go recover for the next hash!
On on,
Early Withdrawal