Reading Hash #641

Dick Yuengling Hash House Harriers Run #1

Hares: Deathwish, Fart Conner, Glass Ass JustSuzette

 

 

Poor Wanks

 
 Please note the time of day that this is written.  Hopefully my hangover will make up for my sobriety. 
 
    We had a blast at Pottsville with the starting point at the Yuengling Brewery, the oldest brewery in America.  However the story starts before the hash.  The hares got a late start setting out the beer checks.  Delia got attacked by Scottish Terriers at a place Deathwish had permission to tresspass through to place a beer check in a cave on posted proterty. 
 
    The hash started right on time a half hour late.  Just Suzette was dumb enough to donate her van for 2 beer checks so hashers could spill beer in it.  The hares were off.  I didn't drink beer all day so I could drive a van full of beer, if you don't count the 1 that I had first thing in the morning.  http://www.rathergood.com/first_drink/  I made a mistake by thinking that because the back of the van was closed it was locked.  The bastards popped open the hatch and poured in to make me late and drink beer.  Here's my recollection from waiting 1 hour for the first hashers to show up.  Glass Ass and Beer Slut snuck off and Glass Ass laid a loop through town that turned into a circle jerk partly because the pack must have been watching Just Suzette till she and Deathwish took off.  Glass Ass and Beer Slut came wheezing up the hill and Glass Ass smoked his second cigarette of the day.  Bad Semen and Moremen or Women were the first hashers to the first beer check.  Flamer short cutted to the check.  About 45 minutes later the first hashers started to trickle in to the first beer check and for the next hour they continued to come up the hill.  By that time the hash should have been over as it was getting dark.  Just Suzette should be glad the hashers showed up so I didn't have drink 30 beers and drive her van back to the Yuengling Mansion where the HHH was.  A sort of respectful circle was held and I noticed some amused locals walking by as the hashers were announcing their hash names.  Moremen or Women was duct taped to a porch pillar for some reason.  It was dark and cold too. 
 
    Somebody whooped up some great white chile and other wonderful food was had.  I remember the chaperone for the mansion society commented that we were better behaved than some the groups there.  She was really cool about the beer we weren't supposed to have in there.  Various persons supplied music while hashers supplied the lyrics.  There was a chicken bar-b-que.  I have to commend the hashers on the clean up of the mansion. 
 
    Vagina Whiner gave me and Delia a ride to our hotel that I made the mistake of mentioning that I had a room there.  I tried to call home to report that I wouldn't be making it home tonight.  The phone was messed up and I tried to call the desk.  Somebody named @#$% wanted to talk to me, I was thinking who the hell is that till I heard through the phone the name Deathwish.  Deathwish called my wife at 10pm to find out my nerd name to find what hotel room I was in.  Homeland Security at work.  I'll find out later if Deathwish's call explained the situation.  The roving band of assholes with a half keg of beer in tow strike early at me and Delia's room.  At least they brought Yuengling Lager.  I remember something about a guess who drew the penis contest.  There were no models.  I think the drawings were left for the clean up personel.
 
                                                      On On
                                                  Fart ConnOr