Reading Hash House Harriers

Reading Hash House Harriers #632

"Farewell To Justy's Milk" Hash

Monday 6/27/05

No hares stepped forward to drag trail for our first Monday hash of the summer so being the dedicated Trailmaster that I am, I volunteered and roped JSU into co-haring. I secured the ONON and apres locations and got preliminary trail scouting done before falling victim to a nasty respiratory ailment that left me sucking wind when I walked to the pisser. There was just no way that I was going to be able to beat the bush ahead of a pack of thirsty wankers.

Thankfully, our esteemed Grandmaster, DECOY, stepped up and worked with JUSTY to get things done.

In honor of the pending demise of JUSTYs milk production, we gathered at a local dairy. The GM would be live haring the trail while JSU and I served as mobile beer check attendants. As there were no virgins, a short explanation of the marks for our out of town guests prefaced the hare's departure.

The trail soon found the requisite railroad tracks but a lengthy locomotive appeared and actually stopped over the BC13 that was laid. When the hare got my check he said "that will F everything up but TOUR will figure it out". Sure enough, the pack was confused by the missing mark and TDP did figure it out. An odd thing happened here, the conductor of the train actually smiled at the pack and asked if they were on a "treasure hunt". That is a far cry from the normal comments of "Get the Hell off my tracks", "I'm calling the cops" and "I hope my steel wheels cut your damned legs off".

True to his explanation, the crafty hare ran the pack through the mall and marked the way with hot pink sticky notes. This lead right to the first beer check. Nobody worried about the cops because a store had just been robbed around the corner and all 5 or 6 on duty cruisers were driving around looking for the "light skinned" bad guy.

Eventually the pack made it to BC2 and JSU's phone call was the signal for me to purchase the vanilla ice cream for the apres. With perfect timing, the pack arrived to the ONIN just as I did.

EVERYDAY ASSHOLE & BAD SEMEN arrived as car hashers. BADman had just returned from a out of town work and EVERYDAY just finished delivering junk mail.

The on again, off again rain and showers of the day kept up their routine as we circled up in a secluded area in front of an old barn. Sadly, FLAMER (who griped a few weeks ago about the lack of outdoor apres) wasn't to see most of the wankers relaxing in their camp chairs as down downs were accomplished.

The usual items were noted. BIG RIG made some sort of silly and quiet false accusation and was dragged in. The GM noted that it was the anniversary of his first hash and inflicted a pint on himself. Plastic shot glasses were broken out and everyone raised a toast of cold milk to JUSTY.

Cigar-smoking, artificial jointed JUST MIKE was called forward for his naming. The GM explained that ever since his first hash at the Anthracite Absurdity (when he ran the trail with a 7" stogie smoking like mad, a beer in one hand and wearing a button down shirt and jeans) a name has been selected for him. Because of his obvious dedication to the golden nectar and fine cigars - he was instantly the GMs hero - hence he will from this day forward and forever be known as " YOU'RE MY FUCKING HERO".

As the circle concluded, Pizzariffic Pizza arrived and vanilla ice cream and strawberries were served. As this was the only hash EVER that I failed to bring a camera to, there are no pics. Thanks to FOOL and the H5 crew for visiting and again thanks to JSU and DECOY for covering for my slacking self. My lungs thank you.