Sunday June 5th 2005: Reading #631, Lehigh Valley #13
Hashers,
�When are you having another one of those things? The girls put on a great show for me this afternoon� (parking lot neighbor)
On a hot-ass day, much more like late August than early June, two of PA�s greatest B-list city- hashes came together for a momentous day of debauchery. Nearly 50 hashers were in attendance as Reading H3 and Lehigh Valley met on neutral turf in the historic borough of Hamburg PA for our first-ever interhash.
Hares for the day included OE and Decoy of Reading H3 and Ateapuss Complex and yours truly, Quick-n-Little, of LVH3. 2:00 was the posted start time. Reading, a traditionally prompt hash, and LVH3, traditionally late starting, split the difference, and the hares were off at 2:15 after welcoming the virgins and some chalk talk. Trail stayed on the streets of the borough for about the first half-mile or so, headed down Island Street, through a back alley, the community pool, and down to the banks of the Schukyill river. A little shiggy-romping and the pack was soon in the water, waste deep in PA�s finest, heading to the first BC across to the island. Half of the hares stayed behind to launch the pack toward the second leg, while 2 of us laid trail further down the island, and back across the river, en route to the shot check.
The pack never did make it through the shot check tunnel, but did find true trail on the construction access road that ran along 78. Trail continued through the cemetery, the woods, and crossed another stream to the American Legion. Showing my newly obtained legion card, Helen took great care of the pack, quick with cold bottled beers and a lifetime�s supply of tiger cheese. Fortunately, she gave me some pancake mix too, because our extra flour was washed down the Schukyill when my co-hare took a spill and soaked his bag crossing back over after the first check. Most of the pack made it in to the Legion within a minute or two of each other (despite the threats of the property owners we visited along the way), but a handful never did arrive. As I set off on leg three, I found the missing half-minds, sitting on the porch of the VFW, screaming that they caught me. Not long after this, fresh on true trail as opposed the VFW crowd, Likes to Blow almost did catch me laying flour. I threw my tennis ball at him, and shot off in an opposite direction.
I have to say that there were more hashers on my ass laying trail today than I�ve seen in a long time. Am I slowing down, or are they speeding up? I guess I don�t give a sh*t really, as I did manage to just make it to the parking lot, pants still in place. First in Likes to Blow and Tour, were followed pretty quickly by the rest of the half-minds. The decision was made to carry the keg across the footbridge to the circle location, and it was a good one, as the pack depleted the entire silver chalice during a lively dose of religion, hosted by Decoy, Ateapuss, and Tour. Down-downs were awarded to the Virgins, the visitors, New Boots, and those who didn�t know their VFW�s from their Legions. A naming was held for Just Ethan, who�s been hashing for quite a long time, but has been angry and miserable during most of it. He was named �C.M.S� for Constant Menstrual Syndrome. The stanky water nearby served well as a baptismal font, and CMS took it like a champ, even finishing his lager/river water down down after getting about five gallons dumped over his head.
The circle ended, and most of the pack headed back to the parking lot to show the neighbor their various junk as they changed into fresh haberdashery. Some of us took a dip in the river before meeting up with the rest of the crew at the American House for the Après. Subs, beers, karaoke, all dispensed by Missy the Bartender, and April the Blonde Bombshell and her assistant. Many rousing performances were enjoyed, but perhaps none more so than that given by newly broken virgin, Just Tim, who soon earned his hash name �Teabag�, more as a cautionary tale than as a descriptor of the actual events that occurred. Suffice it to say, passing out at your first hash probably isn�t the best idea. Ol� Teabag made it home safely though, calling his roommates to pick him up. A hasher was born this day for sure?.
The evening came to a close as the last of us (Ateapuss, Beaver Fever, Mangina, Everyday, OE and H5 ) pulled out of the American. (Did anybody happen to notice if the old lady was just at the on-on and on-after, or did she make other appearances furing the hash? Funny thing, we had a beer with her at the American when we first scouted trail a few weeks back) All in all a kick-ass hash. Great turn out, good trail, some fun beer checks, a lively circle, and a hell of an on-after. Lets do it again soon Reading, and On-On H5 for coming out strong once again. See you next time,
QNL
6-7-05
Some
Notes on Sunday's Hash:
1) I just would like to say.... that I was
drunk at the time, so I shouldn't be held responsible for anything that I did or
said on
Sunday. Okay, now that we've got that out of the way, did I do
or say anything on Sunday?
2) If you're a harrierette and I fondled
or groped you on Sunday, I'd like to blame it on the alcohol...but let's be
honest, even I
don't believe that. Call me -- I'll give you the most
amazing 14 seconds of your life. Okay, 12 seconds. Maybe 11.
10?
3) If you're a male hasher and I offended you in any way, you
probably had it coming! Next time I see you, I'm gonna walk right up
to you,
roll up my sleeves, give you one of those psycho-I'm-gonna-kill-you looks, and
then buy you a beer.
4) Many many thanks to QNL, Ate-A-Puss, and OE
for organizing the whole thing and then letting me show up and fuck everything
up.
Thanks to all LVH3'ers for a good time -- truly a fun group to hash
and apres with. To all of those who followed me to the wrong place
for
the beercheck, serves you right to trust a hare, let alone a halfminded hare
named 'Decoy'.
ON-ON
Decoitous Interruptous / Reading
H3
