Reading Hash House Harriers

Trash #617 - Orienteering Hash

Sunday 11/28/04   10:30AM

The day started out about as shitty as a day could get in November in Pennsylvania without having snow and ice. A cold rain fell and the wind howled. Creeks roared with runoff from the previous night's storms. It was a great day to get out and hash and try something new.

I arrived at the Pagoda and found no hashers or orienteering people - only a few homos who waited for some secret sign so they could flit off into the woods for whatever man-man pleasures they wait for. The same scenario existed at the nearby fire tower only this time the waiting queens were joined by a guy slouched down in his car spanking his monkey. Maybe it was the perv from the H5 hash a few weeks ago!

So, I parked at the ONON location, wrote HETERO on my windshield in large block letters, locked the doors and poured myself a Lager. If I was the only hasher today I was going to have a hard time finishing the 57 beers I brought. Soon after, EVERYDAY ASSHOLE arrived and we were just lamenting where the F everybody was when a sweating guy in a funky-colored track suit came running by. He had a compass strapped to one wrist and a map to the other - an orienteerer!!  Turns out the event was at Egelman's Park at the base of the mountain.

The park was full of people intent on running through the woods looking for "controls". They do this without beer which seems kind of sad to me. DECOY showed up and we registered as TEAM READING HASH and paid the $7 to get a quick lesson (by a guy who was a hasher in Frankfurt), the map and a punchcard. As I went to the car to throw some beer in a backpack, one of the orienteering officials barked "You're on the clock, you're on the clock". It's obvious he didn't understand we are from a sport where the first in is punished!!

Hey asshole, you are on the clock!

The sky became sunny as TEAM READING HASH started out on the course. Our combined decades of woodsmanship experience allowed us to start banging out the controls (even with the first control being marked incorrectly on our map-seriously! and DECOY taking off in a mad sprint). We decided that control #6 would be a good place for a BC and in a few short minutes we paused to enjoy icy cold Yuenglings. I could easily imagine a serious orienteering guy finding us STOPPED in the woods BS'ing and drinking while the clock kept ticking - he would have a stroke!!

The course was fun and we finished in a respectable time. Immediately following the orienteering course, DECOY laid a short live-hared hash trail that wound past some sort of crematorium, through a propane cylinder graveyard and back to the parking lot for the BN/HHH.

BIGRIG & Maggie showed up everyone did their part to drink as much beer as they could - to the dismay of some of the orienteering people.

To all the Reading hashers who were Type A'ing at French Creek - hope you had fun. To all the Reading hashers who stayed home for reasons of weather or apathy - you missed an interesting day.

ONON to the Santa Hash - 12/11/04.

OE

Somebody was baked here

EVERYDAY finds DECOY's lost map

Is that TOUR de PUKE?

A saddlelight...get it? Satellite?

Calling Russia??

OE doing his part to promote beer on trail at orienteering events